Hating The Adjustment Bureau

I recently watched The Adjustment Bureau and I wish to stand high in a very public place and scream to the innocent sheep walking by to not watch it.

Matt Damon is a decent actor. The husband staunchly believes he is a great actor and picks good movies. However, even his faith took a big hit when we saw this movie. It is, in a word, crap. I don’t understand how Rotten Tomatoes gives it a better review than most movies that are crap. I don’t see the justification for it to have been so successful behind Rango (which I haven’t seen yet, so I can’t really comment on yet). It was the biggest piece of crap I’ve seen recently, a step above Wall Street 2 (and man, that was bad).

When I think back to how irked I was during the movie, I feel I’m at least partly (alright, mostly) basing my review (consisting wholly of the singular word, crap) on my disagreement / anger / incomprehension of the whole concept of our lives being engineered to follow a Plan that was not devised by the living themselves. How the hell do you expect me to believe that there are beings that actually bother about our sad little lives and go to so much effort to put our lives back on track with a plan that was apparently custom-created for each one of us? If there do exist such ‘beings’, do you really expect me to believe that they would find a purpose in creating ‘plans’ for people who die from drug overdoses or gang violence or domestic abuse? Is that a real ‘plan’ that some asshole came up with, wasting an entire life? And do these beings actually go around ‘adjusting’ people to conform with these bullshit plans? Am I expected to believe that a drug addict who suddenly decides to be serious about rehab will be ‘reset’ so they forget about it and continue proudly with their addiction? Or that a woman who decides to take the tube instead of walking along a dangerous path will be ‘adjusted’ to forget it and continue walking, to meet the rape that was planned for her?

The more I think about it, the angrier I get. I just don’t understand these people who applaud this movie for being an allegory about some benevolent god. They should be made to live the lives of people in really unfortunate circumstances, and then reevaluate how kind this god person is, if she/he/it really is.

Other than the plot, there really is nothing about this movie to get your knickers in a twist, in a good or bad way. Mediocre characters can’t be acted well no matter how hard the actor tries, and good graphics and cinematography will really get you nowhere if you’re all working around a story that is crap. I’m looking at you, Dick. (A more appropriate moniker I could not have come up with.)

Edit: Actually, I did remember something else that was nearly as bad as the story – the sappy dialogue. Two people who are meant to be together, really? Never figured a Hollywood screenwriter would come up with dialogues as bad as some Tamil screenwriters out there. Some of those ‘declarations of love’ made me want to stuff my fist down my throat and gag to make myself feel better.

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